Well I'm here.

My decision.

As far back as I can remember, my heart and everything about my life has pointed towards the arts. I spent the last five years experimenting with different aspects of life. I tried to be what I think is normal. I worked in WY as an electrician for two years. I lived in a small town in Kansas for two years. I tried to answer the question, "Can I just live a normal life and be content doing something that I am moderately interested in, such as helping high school students on their homework or building gas measurement skids in a fab shop?" I felt like two years was enough for me to answer that question. Now that I think about it the answer was no. Then, at the time, I thought the answer was yes, but in order to prove it, I would have had to stay working in these places, right?

As I was working in Hugoton, KS I was given the option to go back to school and teach classes to pay for my tuition. I honestly looked at the semester coming up, "Which one do I choose, Manhattan or Hugoton?" I noticed that there was a huge brick wall in my subconscious thoughts concerning the option to stay in Hugoton -- the nice serene welcoming little community. I wouldn't allow myself stay. This is where I usually start talking about the ethics behind my decision and the why's but I'll spare you.

This 'step' back towards the arts has been unsurprisingly awkward. I anticipated everything I am going through. It is a struggle. I'm still walking the line of who I've tried to be these last few years and who this new venture requires me to be. I should be thinking about how to be a good director or stage manager or Shakespearean actor -- oh yeah and teacher! Note: I'm also in a play. So on top of all of my thoughts that are pulling me 100 different ways I'll be striving to be an actor (one of three chorus members) in a Greek tragedy called Antigone.

"Easy Does It." Has been my theme song by Waterdeep. Easy Does It. I need God's encouraging Spirit to help me.

Today I was thinking about how neat it would be to find a spirit lead theatre group to work with. I'm setting my compass towards something like that.

The whole story of 'Why theatre?' and 'Where is God in all of this?' can be summed up in one sentence. This is where my relationship with God has led me. (Acting in Greek tragedies...haha! I'm not sure where all this will lead me, but hopefully I will enjoy it and that this time of preparation would not be wasted.)

Yellowstone - Tetons

A short story of a day in the Tetons

Eighteen miles total, we started the hike too late in the day. Originally we were going to hike in and hike out about 4.5 miles each way. Then we split up and the adventure began. John and Wes turned around early and according to our calculations we still planned on meeting back at the ferry at Jenny Lake at 7:00PM. After we split up Dan, a long distance runner, and I met a lot of people encouraging us to see water falls just up the trail, and then the lake just up the trail. The name of the trail was Cascade Canyon. It was beautiful --the most prettiest place I've ever seen. We got in one place in the canyon where you could turn a full 360 degrees and see mountains on every side, surrounding us, engulfing us -- awesome. We met a couple people camping in this spot --what a place to wake up to! We made it to Lake Solitude and took a refreshing swim. We were then wondering where the trail went. I thought that the trail was going to go around a mountain but the lake was surrounded by a half cut bowl of mountains. Where do we go from here? Then Dan noticed a diagonal line going way up to the top of the bowl of the mountain. We figured that the walk back would be about the same as going back the way we came so we headed up the mountain. I'll post some pics of this trip soon on Facebook. It was amazing. We finally got to the top and found a plush green grass hill watered by a stream of melted snow. The snow had red algae growing on it. We filled up our water bottles with this water half way up the mountain. I laid down on the snow and made a snow angel and as I was sitting on it I started to think that I could slide down it to save some walking. This is when we needed John and Wes's caution. Dan tried to talk me out of it but I thought that it would be fine -- it was. It was only about a 50 foot patch of snow that led me to a pile of crumbled rocks and I walked down the rest of the 50 feet to the winding trail below. Then Dan started thinking that he was going to do the same thing. I said, "Dan, the safe way is going around on the path." There was one point in the slide that I felt like I was going a bit too fast. There were some questions and instructions and Dan decided that this is what he was going to do. He turned on his camera that was around his neck and started sliding down the snow. Dan was going fine but half way down he got turned sideways and slide into the rocks below. I froze. He did a few cartwheels before miraculously landing on his feet on the path. A couple of fearless kids from Nebraska earned that mountain's respect that day. Dan had some minor scraps on his back, shoulders, knees, elbows, and hands. He missed hitting his head and he was also happy that his camera was unscathed. He was ok! Wow! I feel very stupid for what I decided to do that day, but that's the story as humbling as it may be. Now we were in the Paintbrush Canyon by Holly Lake and met some campers that let us call John and Wes. It was then that we found out that we had the key to the pickup's ignition and they just had the door key so they couldn't come and pick us up once we made it to the nearest road at String Lake. The sun was on it's way down and we had seven miles to go. The campers told us with a laugh that we would have to hurry. Dan and I jogged some and walked some. Before the sun went down Dan sprained his ankle that he has had problems with for years. He was still able to walk and jog on it but he continued to roll it as we went down the rocky trail. Dan thought that we would have to continue to talk loudly as we walked down the near dark mountain trail so we both shared our scriptures that we have been memorizing. Dan shared 1 Peter and Romans 6 I shared verses from Philippians and Psalm 118 and shared worship songs. We heard big animals moving in the brush and some screaming things on the way back. Dan had a 40mm. that he actually fired into the woods at one point -- again Nebraska boys earning the respect of a dark mountain that night. "Just keep going.", I would say as Dan was wanting to stop and see what he heard in the trees. Once we made it to String Lake we saw lights peering into the woods. I thought that it was the search party that John and Wes sent for us but it was the lights of cars from a nearby campsite. We flagged down a car and a young man gave us a ride 10 miles up to our campsite. Dan and I were thankful to be back at the camp. John and Wes were relieved and were glad that they didn't have to send a search party which they where a half an hour away from doing.

That was the only dramatic thing that happened on the trip. This was day 7 of 8. I have another long story about tracking down my bag that had my wallet in it that I left in a group of Spaniards RV and an incident concerning a coon with a shoe fetish, but I can save that for another post.

Loaded and Ready!

The RV currently sits in a mouse infested swampy area in Manhattan, KS. I had to leave it there for the time being. Last week I made a move from Hugoton to Manhattan. I'm going to be teaching two public speaking classes and taking graduate level classes for theatre/directing. The goodbye parties were great! I thank the church for their gift and everyone for cooking food. The red mangos were second place and the raspberry pie made with four different kinds of raspberrys was first place and the best pie I have ever tasted. WOW!

I had a blast this last June. I had the opportunity to be a resident advisor / mentor for a camp for migrant farm worker students called Harvest of Hope Leadership Academy. 48 of the students that went spoke Spanish so it was fun to learn more words and culture. They got me excited about watching soccer and eating everything with Mexican hot sauce --Valentina.

I'll be heading to Yellowstone in a couple days with three other guys. Hopefully this will be a fun trip to adore God and be amazed at His creativity and simple beauty. WOW the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha yesterday was fun. I was reminded of how vast this planet is from the huge fish in the ocean to the tiny tiny bugs in the dirt. This place is awesome.

I'm walking towards a bigger picture in my mind by going back to school for theatre. I'll still be working with people, which is something I wanted to do with my life and I'll be going into an area that I can get passionate about. I think it's a general direction, still not pin pointed, but it is one step closer to what I want to do on this planet -- now Mars is a different story and don't even get me started on my Jupiter thoughts.

I've realized that I enjoy observing life around me and how people chose to live their life. I might lean towards psychology and theatre therapy in the future and of course it would be fun to study theology but maybe not in the United States. I was just thinking yesterday that I am going to have to go to school for awhile and gain a lot of experience for all the things that I want to do.

Just to name a few.

Learn Spanish, direct, write, and act in plays / films, combine music and theatre for a traveling show that would have a greater impact on it's audience than an AC/DC concert, take part in working mission trips around the world, create documentary videos, do powerful outreaches in jails and prisons, put together a stand up comedy routine that wow's audiences much like Andy Kaufman -- but better of course.

Making a change in 2010

Recently I applied for a graduate program at K-State. Well I should say that I applied for two graduate programs -- Communications and Theatre. I was accepted for both programs and I later received a letter informing me that I was accepted for a teaching assistantship. Throughout this whole process I have injected a large amount of doubt into my thought process -- now I need to go thought doubt detox.

2010

This year holds untold mysteries.

The plan is the following:

One more semester of migrant tutoring.

Yellowstone RV adventure this summer. Which will help motivate me into fixing up the motor home a bit.

New fridge (or partially new $500), new heater $600,

New on board propane tank $50(The one I have is too old for most propane companies to refill),

I might need a new water pump $86, and I need a new shut off valve for my sewage holding tank $35.

List of options for this Fall:

I applied for a graduate assistantship at KSU for Theatre and Communications

Teacher exchange program in Mexico, (one year)

Asian English teaching opportunity (two years)

New Zealand job opportunities (ski lift, restaurant, etc.)

Start a journey around the world without taking any money, only a guitar

Stay in Hugoton tutoring students

Move to Kearney, Nebraska and work as an electrician with my high school buddy

To be continued...