My decision.
As far back as I can remember, my heart and everything about my life has pointed towards the arts. I spent the last five years experimenting with different aspects of life. I tried to be what I think is normal. I worked in WY as an electrician for two years. I lived in a small town in Kansas for two years. I tried to answer the question, "Can I just live a normal life and be content doing something that I am moderately interested in, such as helping high school students on their homework or building gas measurement skids in a fab shop?" I felt like two years was enough for me to answer that question. Now that I think about it the answer was no. Then, at the time, I thought the answer was yes, but in order to prove it, I would have had to stay working in these places, right?
As I was working in Hugoton, KS I was given the option to go back to school and teach classes to pay for my tuition. I honestly looked at the semester coming up, "Which one do I choose, Manhattan or Hugoton?" I noticed that there was a huge brick wall in my subconscious thoughts concerning the option to stay in Hugoton -- the nice serene welcoming little community. I wouldn't allow myself stay. This is where I usually start talking about the ethics behind my decision and the why's but I'll spare you.
This 'step' back towards the arts has been unsurprisingly awkward. I anticipated everything I am going through. It is a struggle. I'm still walking the line of who I've tried to be these last few years and who this new venture requires me to be. I should be thinking about how to be a good director or stage manager or Shakespearean actor -- oh yeah and teacher! Note: I'm also in a play. So on top of all of my thoughts that are pulling me 100 different ways I'll be striving to be an actor (one of three chorus members) in a Greek tragedy called Antigone.
"Easy Does It." Has been my theme song by Waterdeep. Easy Does It. I need God's encouraging Spirit to help me.
Today I was thinking about how neat it would be to find a spirit lead theatre group to work with. I'm setting my compass towards something like that.
The whole story of 'Why theatre?' and 'Where is God in all of this?' can be summed up in one sentence. This is where my relationship with God has led me. (Acting in Greek tragedies...haha! I'm not sure where all this will lead me, but hopefully I will enjoy it and that this time of preparation would not be wasted.)
